Intentions
by Immortalmint
Summary: Hojo has a mental conversation debating what to do with his precious specimen Vincent, now that the time has come to move on to more important things.


I intended to kill him. I fully intended to kill him when I was finished with the experiments. It was the logical course of action. One must exercise discretion in such things. It is vital to leave no evidence of this 'questionable,' or perhaps you might call it 'unethical,' research. Of course ethics are best left to those with weak stomachs and constrained views of the world. President Shinra, in his infinite greed, knows what I do for science will benefit those who control the knowledge. He knows the price of one washed-out Turk is a bargain for what he is receiving. He could never understand the science, but he understands well enough the power this science will give him and his ambitious army.

But Shinra suffers from the failings of all those simple-minded fools that believe the opinions of others can stop you. He believes in maintaining an 'image' for the public. Unfounded fears really… The distain my colleagues have shown me amounted to nothing more than an annoyance. I have control of the Science Division because Gast timidly retreated, fearful of what we accomplished. But I've found you Gast… I've found you hidden away in your quaint, safe little mountain village with your lovely Ancient wife and the new sample only two months from being born… I will be coming to collect soon, don't you worry. I won't let your efforts go to waste because you developed 'morals.' 'Morals' you accuse me of lacking, when you selfishly hide the knowledge away despite knowing the benefits the research could have for scientific advancement! You know, your arguments sounded eerily like the Turk's. Siding with one of Shinra's attack dogs, how pathetic…

Ah, but now Shinra wishes me to terminate the Turk. My research is nearly complete and I am simply out of time. Too soon I must come to collect your wife and child, Gast. Too soon… But I do relish the opportunity to see you again, my dear Professor. I've devoted so much time to prepare a proper greeting for you… But perhaps not as much time as I've devoted to the Turk. I simply don't know what to do with that creature!

I fully intended to kill him. I told Shinra as much, partially to ease his mind on the matter. No one wants a vengeful specimen, especially one of the Turk's caliber, slaughtering with his monstrous rage. Hmm… Real battle data would solidify my findings… But the controls would be too difficult to implement… Perhaps in a few years…

Ah, but that is not the reason I am so hesitant about destroying him. He is the perfect monster, exceeding my expectations in nearly every area. I admit, there was some sloppy science that went into him due to time constraints and his own misguided attempts at suicide, but what resulted was a work of art.

Art and science… beauty and truth… the concepts that separate us from the animals, that make us the dominant species on this planet. The Turk is now a creature of beauty and truth, molded by my hands. Certainly he is not my greatest scientific achievement; that title belongs to Sephiroth. But perhaps the Turk is my greatest work of art. I doubt I will have much time for artistic endeavors once I return to Midgar. Ridiculous company politics will rob me of time for that hobby. But I will have my science and that has always been more than enough.

But you see now why killing the Turk is such a problem… To do so is no different than burning an extraordinary painting, destroying the finest portrait of suffering ever designed… And my precious specimen, he is such monstrous perfection! The stuff of horrific nightmares and epic tragedies contained in one immortal shell. He is my doing, my vision brought to light. But I give credit where credit is due, and the truth is I could not ask for a better scaffold than the Turk. Murderer with a heart, ha! Such irony and sweet contradiction. There is so much blood on his hands, more than I could ever bleed from him… yet when he meets you with his pathetic, lost, and defeated eyes, you can almost pity him. That is, if you can bear the frightening red light of his unnatural eyes long enough to see the expression contained within. Few dare stare that long. Those who can I've been forced to remove from the lab before their sympathies create problems. In the early months of the experiment I lost two of my staff who let their guard down around the specimen. He was brutal then, and is still quite capable of such violence now, but he has given up on resistance.

I must say, I was disappointed how quickly his resolve failed. Piece by piece he came apart, until there was nothing left to destroy but the heart that loves her. And that I would never take away from him. Someone should cry for Lucrecia, and I simply haven't the time. There is still much work to be done. Personal tragedies mustn't get in the way of progress. She would understand. She's probably the only one who could understand me…

Ah, and how the Turk cries for her in his sleep! But he has admitted on more than one occasion that he would never deserve her, a surprisingly coherent thought for that creature. It is interesting though… how he has come to accept the experiments as 'punishment' for his perceived failings. It took remarkably little coercion on my part for him to embrace the monster as his true form. He believes he deserves the body I have gifted him as justice for his 'sins.' I find his phrasing strange… he was never religious, and sin is a concept usually reserved for the god fearing. But it adds a nice touch, I think, to the tragic, self-loathing vampire he appears to be. It is a pity instilling the need to drink blood proved more difficult biologically than I had anticipated. I don't know if my modifications were sufficient, if the desire for blood can be sustained outside of my operant conditioning strategies. Pity I haven't the time to study this further, but it is only a minor detail in monster I have created.

And now the monster must be slain; isn't that how the story goes? He would like that, even though he knows he does not deserve death. His love is gone and now he wishes to follow her into oblivion. But his love is flawed, and hers belongs to me. I can't let him follow her and ruin the tragedy.

I intended to kill him… but that is no longer the correct course of action. I must devise another fate for him, but there are few options. Bringing him to Midgar makes it too easy for the other Turks to stumble upon him. And what would they do in their foolish 'loyalty'? Something too illogical and stupid for me to anticipate no doubt…

I have thought long on this dilemma. I have looked into the creature's eyes until I can see the eyes he had before, light-brown and sharp with remarkable intelligence for a hired gun. Not enough intelligence for him to kill me when he had the chance, of course. But it was more than enough to trick my staff, and even myself a few times. Little devil even managed to escape the mansion for a brief time…

Sometimes I still see the spark of resistance in his eyes. Buried but not destroyed… And I find myself wondering if he deserves a chance at revenge. They're terrible, foolish thoughts I shouldn't logically allow myself. But I can't bring myself to kill him… my precious specimen…

I know it will be the coffin for him. I've thought too long on this and it always comes back to the coffin. A final resting place so close to the death he desires that he might accept it. He could dream forever of those horrifying visions he keeps alive in his mind. Forever alive, forever suffering, forever crying for Lucrecia…


End file.
